THERE IS A NEWER VERSION OF THIS GAME CALLED PURPLE FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE INTERESTED IN THOSE TYPES OF THINGS

FIGMO, I'll play interactive monopoly later (I never lose)

The elders once told me, as their submarine captain, to use mint choc-chip ice cream as a spread to cure deadly bumble stings. As useless as this information seems, it did come in handy in 1897 where I used the ice cream to try and cure a bumble sting on a friend's thumb in the exotic jungles of Stockholm. Although the ice cream didn't work, the purchase of the ice cream was just enough for one family to set up another ice cream outlet in another part of the country, Grimsby to be precise. Although only £1.20 in today's money, the same amount I paid for my friend's funeral, it enabled the son of the business to pursue his life long dream. This son was called William, who had a dream of owning a chain of ice cream shops in Birmingham. To do this, he need to experiment to create new flavours, and when another failed experiment of adding syrup to lemon flavoured poloes (why you can't get them anymore, I don't know) in a plastic tub, a remarkable thing happened. The ice cream may have been as tasty as polyjuice potion but the tub had turned into a technological device when left for 3.4 Mars years. A few years later... Microsoft computers.

And that’s the story of how I own the Internet. Goodnight kids, and remember... don't take drugs from strangers.

Tags: down, dermin, the, starfish, and, platform, platformer, hell, there, puny, mortal

Download