Hello. You probably think I'm here to tell you how to play Cube Field. You though wrong. You probably think I am not psychic. You thought wrong. You think I am Dave, the 45 year old accountant from Birmingham. You thought wrong.

Here is what you got right. I am a sex offender. I have 3 nipples. I have sexually intercourse with fish. I am an alien.

Here is what you don't know. I have a pet squirrel called Adam. It is 27 o'clock on my home planet right now. I have a glow in the dark mushroom collection. Lego is just a cover up for the failure of a scientific experiment. My favourite coloured wine gums are the yellow and green ones. Most people have a kitchen sink in their kitchen

What you don't need to know. The Harlem Globetrotters invented tennis. 4 out of 5 people don't know when they last had a Chinese take away. Salt and vinegar, isn't just a crisp flavour. More people would rather be a super hero than a drug dealer. All people who have read this far have no life. The person who typed this is the ruler f the free world.

Tags: dermin, the, starfish, cube, field, rip, off

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